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The Materia Mess Up
By: Ninn
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Twilight set in quickly, casting the land in enlongating
shadows. A figure on
the back of a chocobo rode quickly across the grass, clutching a small
bag and
laughing like a maniac. The person entered a town and quit laughing.
Getting off
the chocobo, it was led into a building and the figure came out alone.
Heading
for the other part of the town, the figure entered a house and flipped
on the lights
chasing away the shadows. The figure turned out to be Yuffie.
She crossed the room and opened the bag, allowing
the contents to spill out
onto the table. Materia rolled out.
There was a small machine sitting on the table. On
the machine, in large bold
letters was an ACME logo, and underneath that, in much smaller print,
it read
Materia Modifier.
Still smiling, she picked up a red piece. The materia
would duplicate, making a
copy and changing the original into whatever she wanted. This would
be fun, and
if she did it right, no one would notice until it was too late.
Now, what would she give them?
Looking at the piece in her hand she saw that it
was Knights of the Round. She
would turn that one into a playful kitten.
Putting it into the machine, it made some grinding
noise and another orb popped
out. She put that one in her pocket, and then took the modified original
and put it
back into the bag.
Now, what was another one that was used alot. Fishing
around for the Restore
materia she popped it into the machine, and set it to turn it to shoes.
That would be
funny. Shoes hitting them everytime they cast cure.
Once again she put the copy into her pocket and the
original back into the bag.
She worked late into the night, and was rewarded with a full pocket.
Her plan was genious, and they woud never be able to tell the difference.
The next morning on the Highwind
"That little ^$%#@(*!" Cid exclaimed "She stole our
%#*@($ materia again!"
Vincent appeared behind him "How does she know the
combination to the
safe?"
"How the #%@*$ am I supposed to know?"
". . . . ."
"How do you pronounce that anyway? We all say it,
but how do you pronounce
it?" Red XIII, who had appeared out of nowhere, asked.
Cid and Vincent jumped, "Don't do that!"
"Yuffie probably went back to Wutai," Red XIII added.
"How do you know that?"
He shrugged the best he could, "Well, the gold chocobo's gone."
"Evl_Brd? No!" Vincent exclaimed, "We have to get Evl_Brd back!"
Cid groaned.
Red XIII walked over and burnt Vincent with his tail. Vincent screamed.
"The materia's more important."
The others, who had been on the deck, somehow heard
the scream. They came
running.
Tifa was the first in and began laughing when she saw Vincent's cape burning.
"Umm, you're on fire," Cloud remarked, following Tifa's laughter.
". . . ."
Vincent looked at them and slowly walked out of the
room, dodging Barret and the
newly resurrected Aeris.
"What was that about?" Tifa asked.
"That little $&$(&&*%$# stole our materia, and," he added, "she took Evl_Brd."
"What? She took Evl_Brd?" Aeris asked, shocked "How dare she!"
Tifa looked sad, and Cloud muttered, "I'll kill her.
Does she know how long it took
to breed that thing?"
Cid and Red XIII looked at each other.
"You @^(^*))^% idiots. Quit worrying about that stupid bird. She took our materia!"
"He's right," Barret added.
"But she took our bird!" Aeris exclaimed.
"We might as well go to Wutai," Cloud said.
At that same moment, Vincent returned, his cape shorter
than it had been before,
and more than a little charred. ". . . ."
"Can't you say anything else?"
". . . ."
"&$(%* idiots," Cid muttered, setting the Highwind
in a course that would take them
to Wutai.
"Does anyone have any materia on them?" Cloud asked.
"Nope - I lost my White materia when Sepiroth killed me, remember?"
"I'm going to ignore that."
Later - In Wutai
Yuffie was playing with the kitten when the door
banged open. The length of the
summon ended and the kitten disappeared.
She looked up at the door.
"Oh, Hi. Here's your materia back," she said sweetly, "I'm reallllllly sorry that I took it."
Vincent walked over and took the bag she was holding out. He looked in.
"It's all here."
Tifa and Aeris stood next to her and began slapping her.
Yuffie dicked and ran away.
"Well, I hope she dosn't come back," Red XIII commented.
They all looked at him.
"What? Do I have to be perfect all the time?"
". . . ."
"Will you stop doing that?!?"
". . . ."
"@$($&$@!, we have more important things to do now!" Cid exclaimed.
"Right. Evl_Brd. Now, where would she put it?"
They searched the town and the surrounding area for over an hour.
"Did anyone find anything?" Cloud asked.
"Well, the resturant is having a special. Fried chocobo wings." Cid said.
"No!" Cloud, Vincent, Tifa, and Aeris cried in unison.
"Live with it ya morons," Barret yelled, "Da bird's gone."
"Why don't we just go find and kill Sepiroth?" Red
XIII suggested "Now that we have
our materia back."
Later - At the Bottom of Nothern Crater
"Everyone ready?" Cloud asked. They were about to
fight. "Vincent and Cid, you
come with me."
They nodded and equipped themselves with materia.
"Hopefully we won't need any of this. I'll cast Knights
of the Round and you
mime it. It should be an easy win."
". . . ."
"Whatever you say."
Around them the air swiriled and they were facing Sepiroth.
As soon as possible, Cloud cast Knights of the round,
and Cid and Vincent
mimed it.
But, instead of the Knights coming to attack, a playful
kitten appeared, and instead of
the mimes, two dancing flowers joined the kitten.
"%*$#()$^@_$^&%$@(!)$^%*&@#*&%#*^@#(*&$)(@*#(@#)%)_%*($#!!#%#(*
(*#$&(@*#&!(@*)%(#*%)(*#!@*^%$#@(*$)@!*#&)!@($&#*%^%^*&^(*&)_!"
Cloud exclaimed.
Cid looked at him, "Wow."
Sepiroth fell over backwards laughing, then attacked them.
Vincent cast Cure3 on them, and they were bombarded with shoes.
Sepiroth laughed harder.
Cid, thinking that something else would work, summoned
Bahamaut. But, the dragon
never came. In it's place a small moth appeared.
"That (*&@#^*&^ (*#@$&(@*!$#^)(*&%)(&@#~!@&%$*#&^$)(!@*&)#!(@&#$!"
Seeing that they couldn't do anything, and they weren't
going to attack, Sepiroth
easily defeated them.
In Wutai
Yuffie sat on her bed staring at the materia. She
was happy. But, she wished
she couldv'e seen their faces when they found out it wasn't real.
It didn't matter though, because that was the same
time Meteor chose to hit,
destroying her and everything else.
The End:)
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